So you see my beginning was quite precarious and looks like I was destine to follow my older brothers, and cousins into a life of crime. At eighteen I was tricked into cashing checks for a friend who said that his uncle was paying him for work. I believed and when all the checks were reported stole I had a felony forgery on my record. I was green as grass I had no idea was the judicial system was really like and I did not have my parents there to mediate the case. I did not know what to do or expect. I was forced to plead guilty to forgery and pay restitution fro a crime I did not commit. I was so naive and gullible how could I believe that kid? I was so stupid.
After two years on probation I successfully completed it. My probation officer was a wise and understanding guy. I told him what had really happened and believed. We had many long talks in his office; he gave great advise and told my that I really need to stay out of trouble. Well, using drugs and alcohol soon lead me to Orlando, Florida and eventually three and a half years in Florida State Department of Correction. I loved Florida I made it my home for thirteen years most of my adult life.
After mental illness, grave health concerns and a great deal of moral inventory I begin my road to recovery. But it would not come for many years as battled personal demons, drug addiction, and alcohol abuse and more criminal activity. I had begin my career as a premier entertainer (female impersonator), my reputation was growing everyday, my popularity was off the chain. I was changing for the better. My scruples and morals were developing, my standards were getting higher and higher. I was learning some self-respect and dignity.
I had always know that the reasons I kept getting in trouble with the law was my own fault and nobody else'. Not he police who arrested me, not the prosecutor who charged me for the state and definitely not the judge who sentenced me. I let drugs and booze cloud my judgment that lead me to do something really stupid, again. I had great belief in the mental health really the scientific communities. I had been using psychotropic medication since 1992 and this brought my reality, for the first time in years I could make sense of the world, myself, and my place in it.
Something had to change, something had to give, and that something was my attitude and way of thinking. Along my criminal behavior I was ashamed and regretted my actions every time, a feeling of dread would come over me. I wanted to free of this ugly wrong doing person that I was; I could not look the man in the mirror in the eye without disgust. I really was better than this. I had tried a few times to get into college but never finished because I did not have the commitment. I just was not focused.
Growing up I did not have a support system; none of us did. How was I going to make the necessary changes I needed to finally be successful?
